More about sex at work

Interesting anecdote:

A girl was serving on the floor at work the other day and a younger man sat down at her table. He ordered a beer and she asked to see his ID, as is customary. She noticed he had an ID from her university in his wallet and asked if he went there. His response was, "surely you aren't going to card your professor, right?" She took a moment to remember the face and realized that he had been her professor indeed, many years ago. She said she still had to check his ID and he obviously started flirting with her about it and she walked away to get his beer. While talking to the bartender, she mentioned the former professor flirting with her, and the bartender's response was, "sounds like a win-win situation. You get with a teacher and he gets with a student."

Is that a win-win situation?

Sexy Commercial

So, youtube is amazing and I just found this ridiculous commercial with Paris Hilton in a bathing suit cleaning a car and then she randomly starts to eat Carl Jr's Spicy BBQ Six dollar burger and the tagline is "That's Hot." Its pretty insane you must see it . . .

Paris Hilton and Spicy Six dollar burger . . .is this sexy?"

Being Sexy in the Office

This is an observation of my commute to work this morning:

When I got on the bus there were only two people on it. A woman reading a book entitled "Something borrowed," which was obviously about marriage. Is reading this book in a public environment sexy? I would have to say no she was clearly single and reading this book . . . I don't know for sure obviously but to me it seemed a little pathetic. Anyway, she had long wavy brown hair, a lot of make-up, a nice coat, a skirt and insane knee-high boots. I do believe she was on her way to work downtown because she got on the metro going that way and why else would you be awake at 7:30am. Anyway if she were going to work, the make-up and the boots were probably a little too much for the office, because in my opinion being overtly sexy in the office is inappropriate.

Then there was a man in the usual get-up of the shirt, tie, nice pants, and since it has gotten cold out a nice winter coat. However, men can be sexy without much effort. This man was devastatingly handsome without much effort; he was just wearing the office "uniform."

Then I was walking to the metro and both of the fellow bus riders got on the train going the opposite way.

But, while waiting for the train I saw a group of people waiting to get on the train. All in a similar office "uniform": pants/skirts for some women, a button up blouse/shirt and tie/no tie while they were in various colors, navy, black, gray, they were very similar. So, sexy seemed to stay out of the office for them.

Then I was walking from the metro to my office building and I stumbled upon a woman who I guess thought sexy belonged in the office because she was wearing a very very short red dress black tights and black stilettos. Apparently she works in my building, on my floor, in the office next to mine for another company. So she was definitely going to work. Interesting . . .

Carrie Bradshaw: Sexy vs. Skanky

So, how can anyone talk about "what is sexy?" without mentioning Sex and the City??? When I was trying to pick a good episode that discusses this concept I remembered the Cover Girl episode in season 5 where Carrie is shooting the cover for her book and Samantha offers to help, but their two ideals of sexy don't exactly match up. This is a summary of what goes on between Carrie and Samantha:

Carrie is appalled to see a mocked-up photo of herself all but naked on the proposed cover of her "Sex and the City" book. While browsing for book cover ideas at Barnes & Noble, Samantha offers to help Carrie create a look that says 'smart and sexy.' Things get tense between Carrie and Samantha as they disagree on the right look for the book cover. Carrie finds Samantha's selections a little too risque because Samantha keeps trying to put Carrie in lingerie.

So, I guess the answer to the question "what is sexy?" is not universal. We all have very different perceptions of "what is sexy?," even Carrie and Samantha.

in the thick of it: sex, sexuality and the workplace

Now, that title was a mouthful.

But so is tackling the concept of sexuality and sex while in a peer group like 20-somethings in D.C. Mass observation often takes place within the very social networks that we all occupy, so my first post will deal with just that. I work at a tried and true 18th Street establishment in Adams Morgan, and the sexual frustration and tension is tangible in the air.

The very name of my place of employment is loaded with sexual meaning. Touted as a place where people can commingle under the soft glow of dimmed lighting, cushy sofas and little regard for personal responsibility, the intentional purpose of this establishment is to foster an environment of sex, sexiness, sexuality and everything in between.

There have been several occasions where I look out across the restaurant and see people exchanging words and phone numbers. Yesterday I served two people at two very separate, very isolated tables. At some point over the course of the shift, one person had relocated to pose questions like, "what do you do?" "What's your major?" "Where do you go to school?" And since this is D.C. and everyone is a transplant, "where are you from?" The two people wound up leaving together and I remarked on the event to my manager, who pointed out that it happens all the time. Almost as if that's why this place exists.

Public displays of sexuality are indeed rampant. Several couples occupy the tables and couches while on dates. I recently served a couple who ordered several bottles of wine and several plates of bread and when the (rather large) check came, the man nonchalantly handed me a credit card to the vehement protests from the woman he was with. Despite her protests, she was clearly happy with the outcome and they left arm and arm. People sitting nearby audibly commented on the positive nature of this date and the tone of the restaurant almost seemed to shift towards the more intimate.

Anyway, clearly this topic can be discussed at lenght. Stay tuned!

"How to Create a Sexy Pop Star"

Here's a very funny YouTube movie from Before the Music Dies about how a "sexy popstar" is created in the music industry.

How to Create a Sexy Pop Star

In case you are unable to view the video, here's the premise of it:

a 45-year-old man writes a song about "Mama's not coming home tonight"
the producers find a 17-year-old girl who works as a model to sing the song and do the video
the producers have to do a lot of editing to make the song sound radio-worthy
BUT…"it could be a hit!"

Thanks to Kara for telling us about this video!

Sexy Extravaganza!

If anyone is interested, Tuesday is "Television's Sexiest Night" because the Victoria's Secret fashion show is on. And Justin Timberlake, "The Sexiest Pop Performer," is performing. With "The Sexiest Supermodels in the World" (aka: the Victoria's Secret models, in case you didn't catch that).

Here's the link, if you're interested:
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Sexy vs. Beautiful

[Sorry to be posting with such a similar topic to my last post, but it's so interesting!]

There are a number of ad campaigns out there that are advocating for women to be comfortable in their own bodies, such as Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty and NOW's Love Your Body Day. But these campaigns are emphasizing beauty rather than sexiness. In fact, in the campaign itself, the word "sexy" is never used (although it can very occasionally be found on the message boards).

However, if we look at other campaigns such as Nike's ad campaign for their women's line, which seems to be advocating for female empowerment in the male dominated world of athletics, there is definitely a strong undercurrent of sexuality.

The Bar Scene

In an effort to see what the DC perception of sexy is, I went to a bar and observed men and women in an environment where attracting one another is a priority. 

Women were in very small tank tops, even though it’s December, tight jeans, and there hair was mostly long. Men were in jeans button up shirts and nice shoes with an occasional blazer. 

When sitting at the bar before the music got too loud I overheard a short conversation between a young man and woman in their early to mid twenties. The woman was singing along to the song and dancing and the man was just watching her. They obliviously knew each other so the conversation was easy going. He said "You look nice tonight." and she just kept dancing and smiled. It seemed to me that he really like her but she wasn't into to it. But, she was wearing jeans and a tight black top, with a plunging neckline. And as I observed them it was rare for the man's eyes to avert from her chest. But, she didn't seem to mind. 

Later there was a Maxim model contest as soon as this announced women looked pissed and the guys moved closer to the front to cheer and ogle. All of the models were wearing jeans and a black spaghetti strap tank top that was anything but conservative. The models were all in great shape and very voluptuous. There didn't seem to be a crowd favorite, but something that I did notice was that they all looked very similar. All blonde but one and light eyes and great bodies . . . I guess that is what the judges in the Maxim competition think is sexy.

Match Point

To begin with, you should all watch Match Point if you haven't already. It's quite interesting.

In any case, there is a scene where Nola (Scarlett Johansson) is discussing with Chris (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) the differences between herself and her sister, where Nola describes her sister as "beautiful," but herself as "sexy." Chris disagrees, and Nola elaborates on what she means:

Nola: You should see my sister, she's…she's very beautiful.…

Chris: I'm sure she's not more beautiful than you are.

Nola: What I am is sexy. But…my sister, is classically beautiful.

Chris: So you are aware of your effect on men?
…
Nola: Men always seem to wonder. They think I'd be something very special.

Chris: And are you?

Nola: Well, no one's ever asked for their money back. [note: she's joking here, she's not really a prostitute.]